I just got back from the Golden State with my crew at the Commuter, Linn Benton Community College's Newspaper. We left on Wednesday arriving 18 hours later in San Diego around 1:30 Thursday afternoon- much earlier than expected (especially with Greg driving 10 miles under the speed limit).
I was walking with a fellow commuter, Chris, window shopping in stores around the Old Town district and he said "I've learned a lot about myself by being here". I told him that it would make a good article for our paper, and his comment lead to this blog post.
Recounting the whirlwind of activities I realized I didn't speak much about my fiance Kyle, but had a lot to say about everything else. I even had stuff to say when I wasn't very coherent. On the drive home last night through this morning, it came to me. It is easy for me to communicate about the more depressing details of my life, or the exciting ones, but when it comes to something I really, really love I like to keep it all to myself. Keeping good memories about Kyle to myself means no one can damage them or take them away from me. Somehow this allows me to feel like I am protecting Kyle, that I am keeping him safe from an uncertain world and he'll always be mine.
All the time I hear other girls going on about their boyfriends and fiance's and I don't want people thinking, wow that girl has a fiance but other than the ring on her finger you would never know. It is not because I am unfaithful or looking to be so, or that I am trying to keep some kind of secret.
It is because I am keeping Kyle in a place more sacred than my heart- he will always be a permanent fixture in my soul.
photo taken on Coronado Beach, San Diego CA. on March 1st, 2009 by Becca Martino. All rights reserved.
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